If you made a New Year’s resolutions, you’ve already started working on your new goal – and perhaps you’ve even already changed your mind or given up. If you are one who makes New Year’s resolutions, do you really intend to keep them? Have you ever? More than likely, like most of us, you can say you’ve kept some and you’ve fallen short of your goal on others. What’s the difference? Why do you only achieve some of your goals? What do you do differently when you have success? Every year the holidays roll around, we eat way more than we should at every holiday event we attend and all our family gatherings, resolving to go on a diet as soon as the festivities end. I don’t know about you, but for me there are still food-filled events in January! I have January Birthday parties to attend . . . my own being one of them . . . and everyone wants to have some sort of cake or high calorie celebratory food and drinks; so, if I have plans to go on a sudden diet, the plans would be right out the window – unless – I find a new approach. Something beyond just saying I want to lose weight. What about that project you resolved to finish as soon as the holidays are over, that class you plan to take, that closet you’re going to clean out, or that job change you want to make, or the decision to quit smoking, or work out more, or to make more time for family? And, of course, there’s the resolution to spend more time in spiritual pursuits: meditating for 15 minutes a day, do a daily reading on spirituality, or attend more spirit-based functions.
Why is it that so many of our resolutions last for about twenty-four hours? It’s because New Year’s resolutions are, generally, only desires. Desires are good, but a desire is only the beginning of the creative process. A desire, to be effective, must be something that is heartfelt. Most of our "desires” come from "ought to” and should”. We think we ought to lose weight to look good for others, we should make more money so people will look up to us, should finish that project so the house will look better, but these may be desires we’ve imposed on ourselves because other people might be impressed if we did them, rather than being self-generated. To make a resolution, examine it from all sides. Ask yourself if this is something YOU choose to commit yourself to, or is it simply wishful thinking. The only way to have that slimmer body, more pay, or a completed novel is to commit to taking action. To be fulfilled, a resolution has to move a step ahead. One of the steps is committing your whole self to doing what it takes to have that experience.
Resolve to get busy. Take action. People who get busy set things into motion. People who think about exercising don’t get it done until they get up and exercise. People who think about losing weight don’t do it until they start to improve their eating habits. People who wish to finish a project don’t do it until they grab the necessary tools and take action. Resolution, to be effective, requires commitment and commitment requires action. People who resolve to live more spiritually don’t go through a sudden transformation until they begin their studies or change their old actions. Resolve to take action and fulfill some of those long-held desires this year.
Generally, to start something new, though, we have to let go of the old. For instance: I know a few people who have extreme anger management issues. They explode into rages without knowing or caring about the facts, they have no control over their tongues – spouting off whatever nastiness wants to spill out. Two of these people have said, unapologetically, "That’s just who I am. If I’m mad, you’re going to know it. I’m going to blast you.” And, both consider themselves to be spiritual people. If they were to resolve to be more peaceful and have control over their anger and their tongues, the first thing they’d have to do is LET GO! Let go of the past that helped form how they react to frustration or disappointment; let go of the excuse, "That’s just how I am.” Let go of the old habit of lashing out in times of pain or anger. A void has to be created in order for a new way of being to be able to have room to grow. Simply resolving to have better anger management skills won’t make it so. Work has to be done. And if they can’t do it on their own, they need to get help from an outside source.
I hear people say, "I resolve to be financially sound this year.” My question is, "How?” What are they willing to give up in order to make room for that? Are they willing to give up eating out all the time? Are they willing to quit spending all their money on drinking and cigarettes, or nice clothes? Then: I wonder what they’re going to DO to make it so? Are they looking for a better job? Are they getting training to do something new? Are they trying to make connections in the right places to move up the ladder, or are they still hanging out with the same old people who hold them down? Here’s one I love: Someone says, "I’m going to win the lottery and be a millionaire.” And when you ask if they’ve bought a ticket, the answer is, "Well, no, not yet.” Hmm…really? How’s that workin’ for you? But those people are usually the dreamers – full of pipe dreams and expectations, but not willing to MAKE the dreams come true.
So: STEP 1 – Give something up. STEP 2 – Do something new. STEP 3 – Believe you deserve the best for yourself.
Each day, take time to take a few deep breaths; close your eyes; and think about what you’re letting go of. Think of the lunacy of trying to hold on to the old while wanting something new. Visualize the point of power in the present moment. Say: "I am willing to release the need for _______ in my life. I release it now and trust my new need for _______ will be met because I am worthy of living well and I am doing the work.” Repeat this affirmation every morning. You can also include a prayer like this: (Please bow your heads) Father-Mother-God, I claim high self-worth and self-esteem for myself. I love and appreciate myself on every level, knowing you made me capable of being more. I am not simply a product of my past. No matter what may have been, now, in this moment I choose to eliminate all negative self-talk and to love and approve of myself. I am my own unique self, and I rejoice in who I am. I am acceptable, lovable, and Divinely inspired. This is the truth of my being, and I accept it as so. All is well in my world. Thank you. AMEN
Now, it seems everyone is worried about supporting themselves and their families. So, let’s look at some statistics. Our population can be divided into four distinct financial classifications: · The top 3% of the population is independently wealthy working only if they want to. · The next 10% is financially successful, working to maintain their lifestyle, and have a high net worth. · The next 60% lives paycheck to paycheck, is highly leveraged and counts pennies. · The final 23% requires some form of outside assistance to live. So many people worry about the economy and believe they will either earn or lose money according to whatever the current economic situation is. They BELIEVE that they have to be stuck in the larger percentages because of the economy, politics, or family history. So, their resolutions don’t even address money or living conditions. Finances seem beyond their individual control. But, didn’t God give us free will? I tend to think of "free will” not just in terms of making a choice between ’good and bad,” but, rather, at WILL as determination, spirit, motivation, self-control, and resolve. That changes the statement in so many ways. Free will – free spirit, free resolve, free determination, free motivation . . . God has given that to us! SO . . . the economy is always fluctuating up and down. With free will at hand, it doesn’t have to matter to us what is happening out there, or what others do to change the economy. No matter what is happening "out there” in the world, it only matters what you believe about yourself. It IS ok to make a resolution to be prosperous – even in the face of a bad economy. Feel FREE to do that. Think about what your perfect job would be. Release any fears related to the economy, and really dream big. Take a moment to see yourself in the job. Visualize yourself in the environment, see your co-workers, and feel what it would be like to do work that’s completely fulfilling—all while earning a good salary. Hold that vision for yourself, and know that it has been fulfilled in your consciousness. THEN do the work to make it so. Whatever your desires (your goals, your resolutions), know that it is possible IF it is YOUR DESIRE, not something you think you ought to do because someone said you should do it.
I ask again: What’s the difference between past New Year’s Resolutions you didn’t obtain and those at which you succeeded? Why did you only achieve some of your goals? What did you do differently when you had success? I’m willing to bet that when you didn’t succeed, you hadn’t put your whole heart into it. And, when you succeeded you #1 – let something go #2 – did something new in place of that #3 – you believed in yourself I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR. God bless.
