Psalm 23

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

 

Where in there do we find worry over woulda – coulda – shoulda? How many things would you have done if the circumstances had been right or different? What could you have done if you’d only tried? Do you remember events in your life by what you should have done instead of by what you did do? These questions aren’t meant to chastise. They are actually questions you don’t need to live with; but, all too often, we do get stuck in a place of compunction. "Woulda – coulda – shoulda” is living live with regrets; it’s living life haltingly, second-guessing and with remorse.

 

I’m as guilty as the next person. Maybe it’s that hint of Great Grandpa Persinger’s Jewish blood coursing through my veins shouting, "Oy vey!” · If only I would have taken Hardwood Renovations up on their offer to go work on Oprah Winfrey’s California house… · Who knows what kind of career I could have had if I’d moved New York when I was asked to enter modeling. · I should have left my retirement money alone instead of using it to start a business that went bust. Oy vey!

 

Potential guilt or regret-inducing events come along every day. They sneak up on us – we don’t see it coming until it’s over. Even the big ones like I just listed are sneaky. They camouflage themselves as life choices – here’s a chance to DO SOMETHING (or not), and so often you don’t think about how you’ll feel once the choice has been made and the deed is either done or left undone; but, even sneakier are the seemingly little things. "When she said this, I should have said that,” sort of things. When we let those things nag at us, big or small, we do a disservice to our spirit when we play the game of "what if.” Buddha teaches, "Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future; concentrate the mind on the present moment.”

 

We are who we are meant to be, living within the circumstances that make up our chosen challenges, striving to remember how to live as spiritual beings even while we are housed in this human form. Spirit, in its natural state, does not experience guilt and remorse. Our human ego does. We seem hardwired to believe that the Earth is the center of the universe and we were created as the supreme creatures on Earth. With this mindset we are bound to be knocked off our pedestals when we don’t live life in a way which we consider to be "perfectly.” Ego blocks our spirit’s way from enjoying the ride – from laughingly and lovingly saying "Oops” and trying again. Regrets keep us tethered to our toppled pedestals. When we go back over what we consider to be a mistake or a missed opportunity, we bring our vibrations down – blocking the way for higher actions and greater opportunities. Life lived in the mindset of guilt and fallibility brings only more of the same. Instead of allowing ourselves to grow, we relive the woulda-coulda-shouldas, inviting more of the same.

 

We must remind ourselves that our loved ones are not on the other side berating us for what we didn’t do for them or did do or say to them. Once they have readjusted to being, once again, purely spirit beings their human frustrations disappear. They want only the best for us and are not holding us accountable. We should learn to let go, too.

 

Bill Cosby once said, "People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on. That’s a tall and daunting task. How do we do that? We do it by letting go of the plans we’ve made for our lives so we can experience life as it comes to us. Like snakes and cicadas, we must shed our old skins to allow the new and vibrant to grow. Think how appalling those creatures would appear if they kept layer upon layer of dead and useless skin. They wouldn’t even be able to move! They’d be stuck in place, trapped motionless inside the skin they refused to shed. That’s what we do to ourselves when we hold onto regret, guilt and disappointment. Bring this picture to mind when you are tempted to replay an event that didn’t pan out as you might have hoped.

 

George Bernard Shaw wrote with wisdom in saying, "Write your sad times in sand; write your good times in stone.” This is a lesson in letting go. Let pain born of regret go like wind and water passing over letters in the sand. Something happened (or it didn’t) and it is done. You can’t go back and change it, so leave it be. Good times and successes, though, hang onto them! Chisel them in stone. Let them be the foundation, the very cornerstone for future good times and success. Build your life on positive thoughts.

 

Eleanor Roosevelt advised, "With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. Learn from the experience but let go of the feelings attached to the letdown. Allow it to give you strength and bring you wisdom – knowing that you survived and can start anew today. By looking back at what you regret you surround yourself in pain. By looking toward tomorrow you are living in a world of uncertainty. God has given us only one moment of certainty – this moment now . . . no now . . . no this moment! . . . This one right here!  You might as well make NOW the best time of your life.

 

Plato said, "There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot.” If you can do something to help someone or to make conditions better – don’t be angry at the situation. Act from your highest vibration and move on. If there is nothing you can do about it, tell someone who can help, then move on. In neither situation is there a reason for anger, remorse or guilt. Do what you can in the moment . . . then move on.

 

I’ll leave the closing words to Forest Gump. "My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on.”